The Therapist Trap

I have friends who are therapists. Lovely people. 

And I truly believe that most of us, at some point, need some form of therapy. 

Mental health matters. Psychological support is real. 

But lately, I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon:

therapy is starting to feel like… a trap.

In our society, we claim to be independent thinkers and rebels, but we consistently seek authority in some forms. 

What if our need for authority runs deeper than we think?

Take, for example, your therapist or life coach. God bless their work!

The problem begins when we fool ourselves.

Here’s the trap:

You already know what’s wrong with yourself. 

Yes you do!

You are the only person who is with you 24/7 and will be with you until the end. You know your patterns, your reactions, your flaws, your dreams, your lies, your truths. You hear them every day, even when you try to ignore. 

You know your neuroses, your toxic texting habits at 2 a.m. You’ve read the articles, watched the you-tubes, listened to the podcasts, journaled, meditated, overanalyzed.

You have all the information you need to start making a change.

But instead, you look for someone you barely know.

Someone you meet once a week, preferably online, from another timezone.

You pay them to do the job while waiting for the change to happen. 

The years passed by and you could practically give a TED Talk on your dysfunctions.

But still, nothing shifts.

Because knowing isn’t doing and understanding your patterns doesn’t automatically break them.

We don’t need someone to tell us what’s right. We need someone to confirm that what we already felt was right all along.

What happens to the trust in our feelings ?

What about feeling your heart before making a decision?

What about your gut feelings?

What if, deep down, we already know, at every moment, what’s best for us?

What if we instinctively know what to do, and what not to do?

And if that’s true, why do we seek external guidance?

It’s not about not knowing.

It’s about fear, the quiet, insidious kind.

Fear that what we know, might not be true.

It shows up as doubt.

The two voices in our head.

We doubt what we feel. We doubt our instincts.

It’s not ignorance, it’s a lack of trust in our deep feelings.

We lack trust in our feelings because our culture and almost everything around us teaches us to move the focus outside of us and believe in other authorities whatever form they take: science, politics, economy, culture.. 

and so we become disconnected from our internal compass.

But your internal compass is still there.

Maybe it’s been hacked.

Maybe it’s rusty.

Still, it’s yours.

Don’t let it go unused.

"Trust yourself."

After all, that’s exactly what every life coach would tell you anyway.